Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me? The Truth!

Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me? No, it is not normal for your girlfriend to hit you. Hitting is an unacceptable form of communication and doesn't resolve issues. Physical aggression like this can signify deeper emotional issues and needs to be addressed for the relationship to progress healthily.

Creating an open dialogue with your partner to discuss any underlying problems before the situation escalates further is essential. If communication has broken down due to the violence, seek help from a mental health professional who will provide support and solutions specific to your circumstances.

By understanding why physical violence occurs in relationships and how to address it safely and effectively, you can ensure that this behavior hurts neither of you.

What is Domestic Violence, and How do we Recognize It?

Domestic violence is a severe and pervasive public health problem that affects millions of individuals, families, and communities throughout the United States.

It is a pattern of behaviors used by one intimate partner to maintain power and control over another. Domestic violence includes physical, sexual, and psychological abuse, economic coercion, and intimidation.

It can occur between current or former partners, spouses, or members of an intimate relationship regardless of sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation. In addition to physical injury, domestic violence can result in profound psychological effects such as fear, depression, guilt, shame, low self-esteem, substance abuse, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). 

It is essential first to understand the different types and associated signs and symptoms to recognize domestic violence. For example, physical abuse is any intentional use of physical force that causes bodily harm or pain, including hitting, pushing, shoving, burning to choke, or harming someone's body.

Sexual abuse involves forcing or coercing someone into unwanted sexual activity without consent. Psychological abuse is any behavior designed to control, manipulate, humiliate, degrade, threaten, isolate, intimidate, frighten, blame, shame, or hurt someone mentally or emotionally.

Economic coercion controls access to financial resources like money, income, credit card, rent, food utility, transportation, etc., to maintain power and control over another person in an intimate relationship. 

Common signs

It's also important to be aware of some common warning signs that may indicate domestic violence, including:

• Extreme jealousy.
• Possessiveness.
• Name-calling.
• Secretive.
• Controlling behavior.
• Monitoring activities.
• Threats.
• Physical injuries.
• Isolation from family, friends, or work.
• Social media surveillance.
• Destruction of personal property.
• Making decisions on behalf of the other person.
• Blaming others for their behavior using humiliation tactics.
• Manipulating situations so victims feel responsible for the abuser's happiness.
• Excessive mood swings.
• Unprovoked outbursts.
• Extreme highs & lows when communicating with others.
• Lack of respect for boundaries both physically & emotionally.
• Disregarding feelings & needs, etc.

The presence of any single sign does not necessarily indicate domestic violence, Still, if multiple symptoms are present, it's essential to take action immediately by seeking help from a trusted friend, family member, medical professional, law enforcement agency, or domestic violence advocate to ensure safety for all parties involved.

5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Be Hitting You

Unfortunately, physical abuse in relationships is a common occurrence that can be hard to understand.

While physical abuse should never be tolerated and seeking help as soon as possible is vital, it is also essential to understand why it can happen.

1. Stress and Anxiety

We all experience stress and anxiety at times, but for some people, this manifests in physical ways due to their mental health struggles.

If your girlfriend seems overwhelmed and unable to cope, her behavior towards you could become more aggressive than usual. 

2. Substance Abuse

Substance abuse significantly impacts relationships, and if your girlfriend has an addiction problem, her behavior toward you may not be the same as when she is sober.

It's important to remember that substance abuse issues are often rooted in underlying mental health concerns, and getting help is essential if this is the case with your partner. 

3. Lack of Communication

Another common cause of physical aggression in relationships is a lack of communication between partners.

Suppose one person feels like their voice isn't heard or understood by the other. In that case, they may become frustrated and resort to physical violence to express themselves or get what they want from their partner.  

4. Fear of Intimacy & Abandonment Issues 

It isn't uncommon for someone with abandonment issues to become emotionally volatile when they feel their partner is getting too close. This can manifest as physical aggression, such as hitting, punching, or pushing their partner away when they attempt to get close. If your girlfriend has been hurt in the past by someone she trusted, she may resort to lashing out before putting herself in a vulnerable position again. 

5. Low Self-Esteem & Insecurity 

Insecurity and low self-esteem can lead people to become defensive quickly and lash out at their partners.

If your girlfriend lacks self-confidence, she may try to control her environment by ensuring her needs are met first, even if it means resorting to physical aggression like hitting you.

This feeling of control gives her a sense of power over the situation that she otherwise lacks due to her doubts about herself. 

6 Steps To Take If Your Girlfriend Is Hitting You

A few steps can be taken if your girlfriend is hitting you.

1. Remain calm:

When your girlfriend hits you, you must remain as calm as possible. Doing so will help you stay in control of the situation and make better decisions.

2. Create physical distance

If you can do so safely, create physical distance between you and your girlfriend to reduce the immediate risk of further violence. This can be done by walking away or moving to another room. 

3. Reach out for support

Consider reaching out to a friend or family member who can provide emotional support during this challenging time and guidance on what steps to take next.

It's also important to talk to a professional such as a counselor or therapist, who can provide helpful resources and information about handling this situation and protecting yourself from future harm. 

4. Make a safety plan

Think through what steps you need to take to ensure your safety if your girlfriend continues her violent behavior toward you or attempts contact with you after the incident occurs.

This could include changing your phone number, staying with friends or family members, and setting up safety measures for when your girlfriend revisits your home (if that happens). 

5. Seek legal advice

If the abuse continues, don't hesitate to seek legal advice about filing for an order of protection against your girlfriend to ensure that she won't be able to hurt you anymore.

You should also consider speaking with an attorney who specializes in domestic violence cases to get more information on potential consequences that may result from this type of behavior. 

6. Consider leaving the relationship

If appropriate and safe, consider leaving the relationship altogether if your partner has displayed a pattern of violent behavior towards you over time—leggings are often thought to be one of the most effective ways of stopping abuse from occurring again in the future, creating lasting change in the relationship dynamic.

5 Ways to Create a Healthy, Loving Relationship with Your Partner

1. Communication

Communication is key to creating a healthy, loving relationship with your partner. Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings, needs, expectations, and goals.

Have regular conversations to check in with one another, share thoughts and feelings, and discuss any issues or problems that may have arisen.

Additionally, try to be patient when listening to your partner and keep an open mind when problem-solving. 

2. Spend quality time together doing things you both enjoy.

Plan date nights or activities that allow you to deepen your connection with each other through shared experiences and memories.

This could be anything from going out for dinner, walking in the park, watching a movie at home, or playing a game together.

Even if it's just a few hours each week, prioritizing time with your partner helps strengthen the bond between you two while providing opportunities for fun moments and meaningful discussions. 

3. Show appreciation

Show appreciation often by expressing gratitude for each other for big and small things. Acknowledge their effort in everyday tasks like cooking dinner or laundry, as well as more significant gestures like taking care of errands or cleaning the house without being asked when they didn't have to do so.

Giving compliments can also make your partner feel valued, from telling them how attractive they look to appreciating their intelligence or talents in something they excel at.

Practices such as this help create trust within the relationship, which is essential for creating a healthy dynamic between partners over time. 

4. Show physical affection

Never hesitate to show physical affection like hugging, cuddling, or holding hands when appropriate—it's essential for couples to be physically intimate, not just sexually but emotionally.

Doing simple things like giving massages can be beneficial, too, since touch can help diminish stress hormones while boosting those associated with happiness and contentment within relationships, according to research studies conducted on the matter. 

5. Establish trust

Establish trust by being reliable and consistent in your actions—honor promises made while demonstrating honesty in all communication matters, whether good news or bad news needs sharing.

When something problematic arises, don't instinctually assume negative interpretations, especially if there isn't enough information. This usually leads individuals down an unhealthy path of mistrusting their partner based on assumptions rather than facts gathered.

By practicing these habits regularly, both partners will gain more assurance that their relationship is built on mutual understanding and respect, which is ideal for cultivating genuine intimacy over time.

Final words

Violence in any form, physical or emotional, is not acceptable and should never be tolerated. If you find yourself in a situation where your partner has resorted to physical aggression, seek help as soon as possible and take steps to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Working together with a therapist can be an effective way to confront the problem and create a healthier, more positive relationship. With support and understanding, you can find a way forward to create a healthy, safe relationship.

Medically reviewed and approved by Nataniel Josue, M.D., and Luzmery Romero, M.D.